Friday, October 16, 2009

Margy.... The Racist.

Okay, the title is probably a little misleading, but something happened to me at work tonight that really upset me.

It was a typical Friday night, and I'm walking along doing my thing, asking people if they want a drink. I go down a row, just like any other day... I ask people if they want a drink, get some responses, other people just keep playing (they don't like to be bothered when they are playing), but like I always do I ask each person if they want anything. Some do, some don't, some ignore me. Nothing out of the ordinary.

I get all the way down the end of the row, and a woman starts yelling at me. I look back, and she says to me, "What? You don't see me sitting here, I want something to drink." She is obviously pissed off, and downright rude. I take a deep breath, and walk back to her, and say, "I did ask you, ma'am, and you gave no response, so I moved on." At this point, I'm not being rude, although I would love to be. I ask her what she would like to drink, and she doesn't say a word, she just starts grabbing stuff off my tray. I am holding my tongue, because that is the rudest thing you can do to a server. First, a person has no idea what I'm carrying, and second, if you grab something off my tray and I'm not paying attention, you can cause the tray to become unbalanced and spill all over the place. On the guest and on myself. And I carry hot coffee. She proceeds to pick everything she wants off my tray, and turns around and starts playing again. I just walk off, as I am walking away she mutters under her breath, "This place is full of nothing, but damn racists."

Now this stuns me. I mean I am in shock. I am almost 30 years old, and no one in my entire life has ever come close to calling me racist, sexist, or any other -ist, lol. The lady was African American.

So I am really upset about this. First off, I am the furthest thing from a racist person. I don't give a crap what color a person's skin is. I only care about what kind of person they are. I hear about this happening a lot. There have been numerous times that guests have complained that a person was racist, because of many different reasons. The person may have been a racist, or the guest may have just been upset, because they were told no.

I really just don't know what to say to this. I went to high school in Robbinsville and my first year in a small hick town was horrible. I got picked on, people threw things at me, and of course I heard many rude comments. All because I wasn't white. My brother eventually got moved to another school, because someone in our school SHIT in his shoes, while he was in gym class. I once got beat up by the football team, because they were picking on a friend of mine who is black. I jumped in the middle of it, and got my ass kicked.

So for someone to call me a racist, that just pisses me off. I hate racism, and I hate reverse racism. I have now been on both sides of the fence, and they are BOTH ugly. To be treated like crap, because you are not a certain race, or sex, or you just don't fit in, is the most ignorant thing a person can do. BUT to assume that someone is being racist to you just because you are a "minority" is also just as ignorant. If everyone in the world would treat people exactly as they want to be treated, then maybe this kind of crap wouldn't go on.

I would not have been rude to this woman, if she hadn't been rude to me first. And if it had been a person of any other color, I would have acted the same exact way. Granted, in my job I know that I am suppose to turn the other cheek, and all that. But at the end of the day, I will give every person in this world the same amount of respect that they give me, no more and no less. That is exactly how I was raised, and it is the way I will raise my son.

And for the record, I do realize racism still does exist. I live in the deep south and I see it more than a person should. I am horrified at some of the things people thing, do, or say. Whether it be prejudice against women, homosexuals, African Americans, Hispanics, or people with ugly feet. Well I really hate people with ugly feet (lol, just playing, Trey says I have hobbit feet, and I do). Nobody should be raised to treat any person differently. BUT that door swings both ways. I see a lot of racism toward minorities, but I also see a lot of racism toward white people.

People need to be educated, and that's also why I think that kids should have to serve a term in the military when they get older. If they were forced to leave their safe haven, and thrown into a service with different cultures, maybe change could one day begin.


  1. Awesome post and I believe it's so true. I'm taking Medical Sociology right now and I think if a lot of ppl would have to take this class maybe they'd be more understanding of others. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Sorry for your experience Margy. Where I live we don't have racism issues with 'white vs. black' per say as much as 'white vs. native' and it happens all the time. The 'native' people accuse the 'white' person of being racist no matter what they did to provoke the actions of the 'white' person. I feel that like many other things there are people that use the colour of their skin as a way to get away with terrible behaviour and this goes for the 'white' guy too :(

  3. That is horrible, Margy! I can't believe she said that about you! You are so nice and respectful of everyone! I know what it feels like to be on the other side, since I'm gay, unfortunately even from my own family--my brother's fav thing to call me is a fat lesbian dike...I don't min him calling me a lesbian, that's just a fact, but dike is rude and uncalled for. I'm glad you are understanding and accepting of all people, that is a special quality to have!

  4. Wow Margy! I'm sorry that had to happen to you. Some people just act ignorant and they have to demean others in order to make themselves feel better about themselves.

  5. Some people are just incredible. You just have to remember that you get to walk away from that person but she has to live with herself. Really when you think about it, its sad. What lonely miserable existance she must live in to think the way that she does.

  6. If you really look at it, the person who is calling you a "racist" is the real racist, not the other way around. People always like to call others name because of the inferiority they feel about themselves. It's a projection of their own reflection.

  7. You know how you always here the phrase "It's because I'm black"? WEll I honestly did not believe someone would actually say that, I mean seriously, not in this day and age. But low and behold, a few years back we were in the Base Exchange, of all places, and the girl behind the jewelry counter came over to help us. And before we couldcould even say a word, the woman that was there before us starts yelling as this poor girl that she as there first. And then Says "I guess it's because I'm Black that you went o them first!" I mean, on a military base!!! That's got to be one of the most deverse places on the planet. The poor girl trries to apologize and explain to the woman that she just didn't realize she was there first. The woman had the girl in tears and she actually tried to quite her job right then and there when her boss came over. I told her don't you dare, you can not let people that act like that scare you away. And we both told her boss t wasn't her fault. But what I liked the best was my dh, he told that woman that the reason she didn't get waited on wasn't because she was black, but because she was bitch!!

    I wish the word racist would just get drop from the language, there is just no place for it these days.

  8. Wow, some people truly do amaze me. What comes out of their mouths; they must not believe in carma. However, I totally agree with Ellie, this woman has bigger issues within herself. I think you handled the situation marvelously!! Being in any type of service position is so hard, I had my own incident today (won't go into it on your blog..hee hee), but I truly don't understand the disrespect people feel they can just throw at anyone, especially someone they don't even know.